They Are Not Your Real Friends

Be honest with me, who did you think of when you read the title?

Was it someone you’ve known since middle or high school?

Maybe it was a close family/neighborhood “friend.”

Or was it a “friend” group you sometimes hang out with when you get a bit lonely?

Or maybe this doesn’t apply to you if you already have good, high-quality friends you can consider friends for life.

So if you’re genuinely proud of the friends you have, then feel free to click away, this email won’t apply to you.

Regardless of who pops up in your mind, if there are any, you probably know why I put “friend” in quotations.

I have a feeling you know deep down truly what kind of person they are in your life.

And in case you needed someone to tell it to you…

They are not your friends.

Just right now, did you feel a tinge in your stomach?

That’s your soul telling you to open your eyes, just as I opened mine a few years ago.

Looking back, I wish someone told me truthfully when I was little, “Meg, take a look around you.”

“Look at them for who they really are, not for who you wish them to be.”

“Look at how different your ambitions are compared to them.”

But, being honest with myself, I still made so many important, awesome memories with my childhood peers.

We laughed, played, and even cried together and soothed each other when times got tough.

I love all of them to bits and I still do.

But as we grew older and responsibilities became more important, we inevitably drifted apart.

We’d call less frequently and planning was a nightmare since there was always someone who’d say “I already made plans today with X.”

Eventually, after being on my own path for some time, I realized that the people I considered “friends” before…

I wasn’t friends with who they were.

I was friends with them for everything else BUT who they were.

And that’s when it hit me that I didn’t even know what friendship MEANT.

I always thought friends would be the people who live near you or who you see at school every day in a specific class.

But I couldn’t be any more wrong, and our digital age today proves it.

The internet opened my eyes to who was out there like me, and I mean really REALLY like me.

I can give you a brilliant example…

Just in the span of four months since I started Twitter in March, I made so many new online connections who are on the same path as you and I.

People who actively WANT to improve themselves and seek new challenges every day and push themselves to their limits.

I didn’t even know there were so many like me who existed, nevertheless who are searching for others to grow together.

So, being the introspective gal that I am, I did some journaling about this dramatic paradigm shift.

I tried long and hard to answer this one question:

“If I could define what friendship means to me for the rest of my life, what would I say?”

This was the first time in my life that I deeply evaluated each of my relationships.

It might sound stuck-up and elitist to want to set standards for who you spend your time with.

But in the marathon of life, we can’t even comprehend just how significant thinking about this really is.

Think about the age-old adage, “You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.”

If you had the power to choose ANY five people in the world (and it’s possible because of the internet), would you choose your current friends?

Could you look at five people whose numbers are saved in your phone and think “Yes, these are my friends until the end of time”?

Well, chances are if you’re full of drive and ambition and understand the concept of self-improvement…

You’re gonna set high standards for yourself by default.

Deep down you know you DESERVE more.

It’s no longer about laughing at memes or catching up on the latest movies.

It’s no longer about disrespecting yourself and feeling like you should just settle with who you’ve already known.

It’s about encompassing EVERYTHING in your life.

Here’s my definition of friendship, and if you want to, you can take what I say for yourself…

“Friendship is people whose core values align, who understand the importance of continuous self-improvement, and who acknowledge each other’s differences through love and respect.”

That right there, to me, is what it’s all about, and that’s what I believe to be a solid definition.

Maybe not for a lifetime, as I’m still learning alongside you as a student of life.

But it’s a good-for-now definition based on my current life experiences.

At this point, there’s probably one thing on your mind right now…

“How do I find other people to be friends with?”

You might be stuck wondering how you can find other like-minded brothers and sisters.

Perhaps you think you’re alone and there’s nobody around you can relate to…

Which is why I’ve specifically saved that for next time (can’t have you reading a novel here!).

Hope this helps brighten your day!

Before I hop out, I’m interested in hearing what YOU define friendship to be.

If you’d like, I recommend hitting a quick “REPLY” with your personal, unique definition.

It’d be awesome to hear from you!

With friendship and respect,

Meg :)